What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS??


: A crazy bitch who WILL FIND YOU

ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION

Been quite a while since my last post and a lot of changes have taken place in our Family. Some are good others not so good depending on whose side you end up on. Will have to think of what I will blog about for next post just getting back on board think this is better than face book.......

After a hard rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddles through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five-year-old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into one of the water holes. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother was running toward them in a panic.
"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?" she said, as she shook the older boy's shoulders in anger, combined with relief.
"We were just playing church mommy," he said. "And I was just baptizing him. You know, 'In the name of the Father, the Son and in the hole he goes.'"

A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed. “Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.” “What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?” “Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again".

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it."

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question. "Do you have vagina".......

"Yes" she says...... The man replies...
"Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?"

One day little Johnny heard a noise and peeked into his parents
room to check it out. He opened the door to see his mom bent
over the dresser and dad going at it behind her. Johnny's dad
saw him and gave him a little wink as Johnny closed the door.



After business was finished Dad went to check on little Johnny.
He opened his bedroom door to find Grandma bent over the
dresser and little Johnny going at it behind her. Dad yelled,
'Johnny, what the hell are you doing?!'



Little Johnny replied, 'It's not so funny when its YOUR mom is it?!'