Paybacks are a bitch......

The Flight Attendant

A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful
woman, sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so
gorgeous she must be a flight attendant.

But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to gain her attention, he leaned towards her and uttered
the Delta Slogan, "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought
to himself, "Nope, not Delta."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned
toward her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself,
and scratched American Airlines off the list.


Next he tried the? United? slogan, "I would really love to fly your
friendly skies?"

This time the woman savagely turned on him, "What the fuck do you want?"



The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said...."Ahhh,


Air Canada !"

I dont know if I ever mentioned it before but I did purchase a sirius satellite radio back in January and it is everything I thought it would be. I listen to Nascar quite a bit but the Howard 100 and 101 channels are fantastic. The Howard Stern show is better than ever even though there are no restrictions on language it is not nearly as bad as you might expect. The channel 101 content has some great shows I am listening to Bubba the love sponge as I type this and these guys are F@**%ng wild. There is a Raw dog comedy channel that has me laughing out loud all by myself in the car quite often..One of the main reasons I got it is I have a drive of almost 1 hour each way to work and radio stations are hard to pick up and I am tired of Gallaugher and 107 even though maureen in the morning is hillarious considering she has to put up with John. Anyway if you go online at sirius you can get a free trial give it a shot....

Ithought this was cool..

Husband and wife in bed together. She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She: "Oh, that feels good." His hand moves to her breast.She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."His hand moves to her leg. She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."But he stops.She: "Why did you stop?" He: "I found the remote."

The comments are getting slow to come and some are not very positive so I am thinking I will have to do 1 of 2 things either turn off the comments or go to a simple way of commenting...for instance it could be having a number assigned to a generic comment like a phone message ...Type 1 if you like this blog..Type 2 if you dont like this blog ...type 3 if you dont like certain parts of this blog...Type 4 if you are just an asshole (reserved for Karl )...Type 5 if you are not sure what I am looking for and I should be happy you took time out of your busy schedule to at least check it out..... ( I should try to get one of those trackers so I know who is lurking) any way feed back would be appreciated......

A man is working on the busses in the US collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman not quite on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's sent to the electric chair.On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish."Well", says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?""Yes", answers the executioner."Can I have that green banana?"The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it."Can I go then?", the man asks."I suppose so", says the executioner, "that's never happened before".The man leaves and eventually gets a job with another bus company selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner."Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.Well, would you believe it, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair yet again.The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling."What's your final wish?", asks the executioner."Well", says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark."I give up", says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it", he asked.”Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor"

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in CanadaWell, there's a very simple answer.Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low .The reason for that is purely geographical.Our OIL is located in
Alberta, Newfoundland, Saskatchewan & B.C.
Our DIPSTICKS are located in OTTAWA , ONTARIO