Saturday, April 28, 2007



Even after you see it, it is still hard to believe ! WaterBridge in Germany . What a feat! Six years, 500 million euros, 918 meters long.......now this is engineering! This is a channel-bridge over the River Elbe and joins the former East and West Germany , as part of the unification project. It is located in the city of Magdeburg, near Berlin. The photo was taken on the day of inauguration. To those who appreciate engineering projects, here's a puzzle for you armchair engineers and physicists. Did that bridge have to be designed to withstand the additional weight of ship and barge tr affic, or just the weight of the water? Answer: It only needs to be designed to withstand the weight of the water! Why? A ship always displaces an amount of water that weighs the same as the ship, regardless of how heavily a ship may be loaded.

I sent this out as an e-mail to a few people and got 1 response asking whether or not it is real....

I dont know if it is but would be cool to see.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

This is a follow up to my blog from April 2 and my carpet concerns..well tuesday morning I went to the carpet store and i did snap I told them I was sick of being dicked around and I wanted the carpet out of our house. I left the store and they came out after me begging me to talk after I yelled some more he said he would get right on it. Well this morning they showed up and agreed the carpet is coming out and will be replaced the rep from the manufacturer is coming tomorrow morning and when I again asked if it was being replaced 1 guy said to see what the rep said and the other guy quickly replied no he will change it and they will worry about fighting with the manufacturer so now we wait again but at least something is going to happen....

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

things people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteen.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
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Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
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Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
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Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
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Q: Did he kill you?
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Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
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Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
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Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
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Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

An oldie but a goodie.....



Two guys from Sudbury die and wake up in hell.

The next day thedevil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire.

The devil asks them,"What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" The two guys reply, "Well,you know, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."


The devil decidesthat these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas,toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here,can't you guys feel it?" Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're justhappy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys.

He cranks the heatup as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere.He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. Thedevil is astonished,
"Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Sudbury so we've just got tohave a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; peopleare shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan,and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with thetwo Canadians. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas,toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two???"
The two Canadians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don't you know? If hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!!!"

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Mike might enjoy this...




Subject: Breton HumourThe day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, in Ingonish a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties.

We're sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife said one Mountie.
Tell me! Did you find her?" the husband shouted.
The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?

Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said, "Give me the bad news first."

The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay.
"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband.

Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-Five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her.

"Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" >

The Mountie said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."

Monday, April 02, 2007

Have not talked about the basement lately which may have pleased some but it is time....Everything started off real good when the repairs finally got started but have really slowed down. The first crew to come in did a fantastic job on the drywall and trim and such when they were done it was time for the painters, they did a pretty good job for most of it but Jess's room is a disaster they primed it and put three coats of the wierd green she wanted but it looks terrible (not the colour ? but the job they did) then the flooring. The first part was excellent the tile in the laundry room and carpet in Jess's room look great. Unfortunately they sent a different guy for the main room. After he left on the first day I went down and looked and there was a real visible seam across the whole room when I mentioned it the next i was told dont worry it will blend in. Well I called and complained and they were supposed to send someone last Friday to look but they ended up cancelling until Today. I was worried that I was being too critical so I showed the downstairs to a few people without mentioning my concerns and the first thing they saw was the seam so I knew I was right. Anyway the guy from the flooring place showed up this morning and as soon as he got halfway down the stairs he started shaking his head and admitted it was terrible. I first had called the flooring place and was told to vacuum it a few times and it would probably be ok and when he admitted it looked like shit I told him if he had mentioned vacuuming i was ready to fucking snap. Anyway we now have to wait for this to be resolved so I am getting very frustrated with people and may end up snapping yet.....All for now Bye