Just want to wish all and your families a very Merry Christmas from all of us in Smithville and hope to see at least some during the holidays....

Note this is an exact replication of National Public Radio interview between
a female broadcaster and US Army General Reinwald, who was about to sponsor
a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach
these young boys when they visit your post?

GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the
rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous
activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle
discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers !

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not
one ... are you?

Wher eis everyone I am not feeling any love !!

More depressing pictures...The fireplace....Then and now..

Here are some more pictures of the work that is going on now

Well here are a few pictures do not really show the damage as much as it looked in real life I am sure I saw the glass as half empty but trust me pretty depressing......

Well I am back after a week from hell just got the computer back this a fternoon. All that rain last Friday and our sump pump decides to quit what a mess we were left with. Flooded the basement on saturday a crew came in and spent all afternoon removing the carpet and cutting the drywall 2 feet up from the floor in every room..On Monday the fireplace has to be torn down to get at wet drywall behind it. The new van seems all right a few little issues that the Dealership is looking after but my car has been at the mechanics since last Saturday fron left axle broke and he is having a hell of atime removing it ..having a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit but I guess in the end it will all work out. I do have some pictures I will pst when I get time but have to go donate blood right now.,

Well finally bought another vehicle..A week ago Wed. we were at Haldimand Motors in Cayuga and we purchased a 2005 Ford Windstar van. It is in real nice shape and they do all the safety checks and emmision tests on site. I had been calling since Tuesday to find out when it would be ready as I am on nights and wanted to have the time to pick it up..Well when I woke up about noon taday there was a message that the van was ready to be picked up. I got a good friend of mine Dan to go with me to get it they drove it around so I could do a final inspection on it and we noticed some dumb fuck car jockey had scraped up against something and broke the rear tail light on the drivers side and scraped the paint so had to leave with a coutesy car and will have to wait till sometime next week to pick it up. Hope this is not an omen of things to come...

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts .
This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts, and not listening to them."

17 Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See




Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.










Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"










The proctologist called
...they found your head.










Everyone has a photographic memory
...some just don't have any film.












Your ridiculous little
opinion has been noted.










I used to have a handle
on life...but it broke off.










WANTED: Meaningful
overnight relationship.










Guys...just because you have one,
doesn't mean you have to be one.










Some people just don't know how to drive...
I call these people "Everybody But Me,"










Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.










Don't like my driving?
Then quit watching me.










If you can read this..I can
slam on my brakes and sue you.










Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.










Try not to let your mind wander...It is too small and fragile to be out by itself.










Hang up and drive!!




And The Number One Bumper Sticker you'd Like To See!!








Welcome to Canada
...now speak English

ATTENTION
>>
>> ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.
>> YOU WILL BE SAFE, I'M JUST EMAILING TO SAY GOODBYE.

A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was
rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under,
the surgeon popped in to see him.

"I have some good news and some bad news," says
the surgeon.

"The bad news is that I have to remove your right
arm!"

"Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over!
Please Doc, what's the good news?"

"The good news is, I have another one to replace it
with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your
permission before I go ahead with the transplant."

"Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play
golf again."

The operation went well and a year later the man
was out on the golf course when he bumped into the
surgeon.

"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.

"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the
best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer
touch and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.

"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my
handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my
own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes
in watercolors."

"Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear
the transplant was such a great success. Are you
having any side effects?"

"Well, just one problem," said the golfer. "Every
time I get an erection, I also get a headache."

A couple of names from the past...



The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called
>>> the"Style Invitational." The requirements this week were to use the two
>>> words,
>>> Lewinsky (The Intern) and Kaczynski (the Unabomber), in the same
>>> limerick. The
>>> Post actually printed these:
>>>
>>> Third place:
>>>
>>> There once was a girl named Lewinsky,
>>> Who played on a flute like Stravinsky.
>>> 'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
>>> On this flute made of beef
>>> That stole the front page from Kaczynski.
>>>
>>> Second place:
>>>
>>> Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
>>> "We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski.
>>> Since you made such a mess,
>>> Use the hem of your dress;
>>> And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."
>>>
>>> And the
>>> winning entry:
>>>
>>> Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
>>> What Kaczynski must surely have known:
>>> That an intern is better
>>> Than a bomb in a letter
>>> When deciding how best to be blown

Growing old sucks!!!

It is amazing the things we take for granted and as you get older they change..

Some of you have heard us talk about friends of our's Betty and Elwood they have been a large part of our lives in Smithville they watched both of our girls as they were growing up and we have spent a lot of time with them socially as well. Elwood and I have fished together used to have regular Tuesday nights at the Legion shooting pool they have been to our girls birthdays and graduations ..have vacationed together at there daughters cottage in Quebec i could go on and on but I am sure you get the picture.

Well over the last couple of years his eyesight has been failing he tried to hide it for a while but finally realized thet he was putting his and Betty's safety and others on the road in jeopardy so he willingly parked his car but kept insurance on it for when he could drive it again. Over the last year and a half give or take he has submitted to injections in his eyes hoping it would improve his sight but to no avail......He called me .... actually his wife called Jeannine at work and asked if I could call Elwood as he wanted to talk to me. When I called him he told me he finally has come to realize that his sight was no better and asked if I could help him sell his car. Well tonight I took someone out to their place and he bought the car from him. After I left I was thinking how hard a decision it would be for me to give up driving which is something we all take for granted.. need to go to the store get in the car,need to go say hi to someone get in the car. Here is a person that drove truck as a living now they have to depend on Bus's,taxi's and freinds to do things they took for granted. I respect him for making the right decision but still think it was the only thing he could do.

We always have tried to take them places when we can and will continue to do so but I am sure that tonight will be hard for him because of a decision that growing old has forced him to make.,..

The room was full of pregnant women, with their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said: "Ladies: remember that exercise is GOOD for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier!"
She looked at the men in the room. "And gentlemen, remember: you're in this together. So it wouldn't hurt you to go walking with your partner." The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information. Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.
"Yes?" asked the teacher.
"I was just wondering," the man said, "is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

Just some funny signs...

Just a couple of pictures I have gotten from the pig roast...

Do not know how well this picture wiil show but here is the infamous IKEA catalogue that has been mentioned on radio lately. I heard of it from Q107 Maureen and Derringer if you have not seen it I am sure you will enjoy it I hope you know what you arelooking for if not I am sure someone can fill you in....


Oh and bye the way quite the Labour day game Hmmmmmm

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) -- Steve Irwin, the enthusiastic "Crocodile Hunter" who enthralled audiences around the world with his wildlife adventures, died Monday morning after being stung by a stingray while shooting a TV program off Australia's north coast.

Media reports say Irwin was snorkeling at Batt Reef, a part of the Great Barrier Reef about 9 miles (about 15 kilometers) from the town of Port Douglas, when the incident happened.

Irwin, 44, was killed by a stingray barb that pierced his chest, according to Cairns police sources.

Irwin was in the area to film pieces for a show called "The Ocean's Deadliest" with Philippe Cousteau, grandson of Jacques, according to Irwin's manager and friend John Stainton. But weather had prevented the crew from doing work for that program, Stainton said, so Irwin decided to do some softer features for a new children's TV show he was doing with his daughter, Bindi.

"He came over the top of a stingray that was buried in the sand, and the barb came up and hit him in the chest," Stainton said.

Wildlife documentary maker Ben Cropp, citing a colleague who saw footage of the attack, told Time.com that Irwin had accidentally boxed the animal in. "It stopped and twisted and threw up its tail with the spike, and it caught him in the chest," said Cropp. "It's a defensive thing. It's like being stabbed with a dirty dagger."

you gotta love Rodney....

Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car,
someone stole it. I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the
morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head
in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I was such an ugly baby, when I was born the Dr.slapped my Mother.

I went to see my Dr. . . Dr. Vinnie Goomba. He asked if I had this before? I said yes. He said well, you
got it again.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning!

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging past, naked. I asked "Why?" He said "Because you came home early."

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for alka-seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit of the Loom guys giggling.

At my age, I'm envious of a stiff wind.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from Chicago last night.

Dont Forget If you need directions give me a call, the Smithville fair is on as well so come early and make a day of it


POTLUCK
PIGROAST

Saturday, Sept. 2
4:00 ish - ??

Location: Gina and Tom’s
33 Autumn Circ
Smithville
905-957-0414

B.Y.O. Booze
B.Y.O. Chair
B.Y.O. Potluck dish of your choice (in disposable dish if possible)
B.Y.O. Kids and friends….the
more the merrier!

A South African gold miner was injured at work and had to have his right leg amputated.
After the operation he was talking to a fellow miner and said "I suppose I'm fucked now, who would ever want a one legged gold digger?"
His mate replied "Try Paul McCartney"

you gotta love this...


Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says "I love New York" in Arabic.
You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with this logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good 'ole' boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available
to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

There was a volleyball game in the pool a week ago Saturday that was a lot of fun surprising there is not more pictures of Karl touching the ball cause boy he is everywhere we were very fortunate to have him on our side. Anyway both girls are home safe and sound it was a very interesting trip which can wait for another post..hope you enjoy the pictures and thanks Karl and Trudy for your help today...

Has been a while since my last post..made a 700 km round trip today to take Kelly up to her camp for the next 2 weeks will be lonely around here Jessica is also in Muskoka with her aunt Haydee coming home on Friday and leaving again Saturday with her friends Family to go to the Elora Gorge for a few days so we are kid free....with all the Mosquitos I thought this was fitting more or less...

A young boy is standing on a street corner swatting flies. Everytime he sees a fly he utters, "fucking flies, fucking flies."

Just as the boy says it a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the flies because every one of God's creations has a purpose."

The little boy, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "bullshit."

"Well tell me 3 things on this earth that God has made without a cause" says the priest.

The boy looks at him with a grin and replies, "Tits on a nun, balls on a priest, and these fucking flies."

A 26-year-old Montreal man appears to have succeeded in his quest to barter a single, red paper-clip all the way up to a house. It took almost a year and 14 trades, but Kyle MacDonald has been offered a two-storey farmhouse in Kipling, Sask., for a paid role in a movie. MacDonald began his quest last summer when he decided he wanted to live in a house. He didn't have a job, so instead of posting a resumé, he looked at a red paper-clip on his desk and decided to trade it on an internet website. He got a response almost immediately — from a pair of young women in Vancouver who offered to trade him a pen that looks like a fish. MacDonald then bartered the fish pen for a handmade doorknob from a potter in Seattle. In Massachusetts, MacDonald traded the doorknob for a camp stove. He traded the stove to a U.S. marine sergeant in California for a 100-watt generator. In Queens, N.Y., he exchanged the generator for the "instant party kit" — an empty keg and an illuminated Budweiser beer sign. MacDonald then traded the keg and sign for a Bombardier snowmobile, courtesy of a Montreal radio host. He bartered all the way up to an afternoon with rock star Alice Cooper, a KISS snow globe and finally a paid role in a Corbin Bernsen movie called Donna on Demand. "Now, I'm sure the first question on your mind is, "Why would Corbin Bernsen trade a role in a film for a snow globe? A KISS snow globe," MacDonald said on his website "one red paper-clip." "Well, Corbin happens to be arguably one of the biggest snow globe collectors on the planet." Now, the town of Kipling, Sask., located about two hours east of Regina with a population of 1,100, has offered MacDonald a farmhouse in exchange for the role in the movie. MacDonald and his girlfriend will fly to the town next Wednesday. "We are going to show them the house, give them the keys to the house and give them the key to the town and just have some fun," said Pat Jackson, mayor of Kipling. The town is going to hold a competition for the movie role. MacDonald said: "There's people all over the world that are saying that they have paper-clips clipped to the top of their computer, or on their desk or on their shirt, and it proves that anything is possible and I think to a certain degree it's true." MacDonald, who has attracted international media in his quest, said the journey has turned out to be more exciting than the goal. "This is not the end. This may be the end of this segment of the story, but this story will go on. "

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one hell of a hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already. I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!"
The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist ask him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him."

: 10 What?

>
> How Moses got the 10 Commandments....
>
> God went to the Arabs and said, "I have
> Commandments for you that will make your lives better.
>
> The Arabs asked, "What are Commandments?"
>
> And the Lord said, "They are rules for living ."
>
> Can you give us an example?"
>
> "Thou shall not kill."
>
> "Not kill? We're not interested."
>
> God went to the Blacks and said, "I have Commandments."
>
> The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Honour thy Father and
> Mother."
>
> "Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested."
>
> Then He went to the Mexicans and said, "I have Commandments."
>
> The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said "Thou shall not
> steal."
>
> "Not steal? We're not interested."
>
> Then He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
>
> The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shall not commit
> adultery."
>
> "Not commit adultery? We're not interested."
>
> Finally, He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
>
> "Commandments?" They said, "How much are they?"
>
> "They're free."
>
> "We'll take 10."
>
>
> There, that ought to offend just about everybody.

Remember Peoples,

www.atthebarn.blogspot.com

Paul McCartney has already recieved part of his divorce settlement......

Well like the Gower's of Muskoka our walk on Sunday was also succesful.
As a team we raised $2421.00...Kelly part of this total was $1666.00 she did very well and we are proud of her..Thanks also goes to Theresa and Kelly,s friend Meghan.
here are a few pictures...

Hey everyone visit www.atthebarn.blogspot.com. :)

Stopped at Carruthers printing in town today to pick up some posters for the Poultry fest that is coming up in town on the 24th of this month which all should try to attend as it is a free day out with lots of things for the kids and adults....anyway Steve Eckert is the owner of Carruthers and when I got there he said he had just finished reading the article in the paper about Kelly and the Diabetes walk I had not seen it yet so he told me he had cut it out as he wanted to make a donation so he gave me the article and a 50 dollar bill this puts Kelly just over the 1000.00 mark so when I told her she was thrilled. We are very proud of what she has been able to accomplish...

Kelly is well on her way to her target of raising $1000.00 in pledges for the walkathon she is just over the $700.00 mark and still going strong. The newspaper from Grimsby is coming to the house tomorrow to talk to her and will be putting an article in their paper and she is very excited about this.

I am not usually a person that is big on collecting donations but this is a cause that directly involves our day to day life because Kelly has type 1 diabetes.

There is a walk of 5 kilometers on June 11 starting at McMaster University, our family is taking part in this walk and Kelly tells me I must get my own sponsorship so the pressure is on, all donations can get a tax reciept, it might be worth something just to get my fat ass to walk 5 kilometers without any beer stops.. if anyone is interested all are invited to print their own sponsor sheet and join us on the walk Kelly is putting in a team named Gower Power and we are going to have T shirts it is quite a nice day and all are welcome.

Thanks Rob